The blessing of surviving a narcissistic relationship is that after it is over, you can spot a wolf a mile away. "I know, I know," who would consider this a gift? It is not something anyone would ask for and I certainly would not wish it on my worst enemy. Although it happens, realizing how much growth and development you are given is necessary.
I don’t mean after the relationship ending, I mean after you have gone through the grieving stages and completely healed from the situation. Essential oils became part of my daily healing process during my prayer sessions. Using a diffuser while I journaled my thoughts was helpful. Reading through the penned pages I wrote gave me insight into my own personal growth.
"A wolf in sheeps clothing is still a wolf"!
At first, I thought maybe I was prejudging and not really sure of what I was sensing, but oh no, a wolf in sheep’s clothing is still a wolf. Researching the "risks of malevolent actors" you learn that they are a detriment to society. In order to reduce the risks, we must first be able to recognize the behavior and call it out. This is your gift to your community. Survivors of narcissistic abuse recognize the commonalities of love-bombing (flattery), gaslighting, and the phases of abuse patterns in the community. You can hear little idiosyncrasies in their conversation and something inside of you wakes up to take notice. The biggest thing I have learned is to watch them, and not get caught up in what they say. What is said and what is done is two different things to these types of people. I know we want to trust everyone, but you just can’t trust a wolf.
During one of my counseling sessions, the counselor shared a story about a snake and a woodsmen. One morning the woodsmen was walking through the woods on his way home and spotted a snake. The snake was sick and not doing well so the woodsmen carried the snake home. He fed it, nursed it back to health and provided shelter. One morning as the two were getting ready for breakfast the snake lashed out and bit the woodsmen poisoning him with its venom. Before he died he asked why, and the snake replied, “I am a snake”. Listen to your gut (heard or read that before, hmm), your spirit is leading you in the right direction. The truth is, it tried to warn you from the beginning, but love can be blind. The gift of recognition is enhanced when you develop wisdom through your experience! And this gift will help you in living your life victoriously!
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